Online dating is one of the hallmarks of our time. How can you find the right man in virtual space and recognize who he truly is?
In practice, men who constantly seek relationships online can be divided into several categories based on their goals and motivations.
1. “The Philosopher”
These are men aged 30–35, married, usually with one child. Their marriage has become boring, and their relationship with their wife ranges from cool to tense. However, they have no intention of divorcing—some because of the child, others for financial or moral reasons. “Philosophers” are looking for an emotional outlet—a girl or a young woman to completely captivate. I didn’t name them “Philosophers” by chance: they are typically intelligent, educated, and interesting enough to attract a free-spirited young woman. Relationships with them are an explosive mix of romance, passion, complaints about life and their wife, boasting about their child’s achievements, and lecturing—since their life experience is richer due to their greater number of years compared to their virtual girlfriends. A “Philosopher” will try to draw his virtual companion into a real-life romantic relationship if he finds her physically attractive. Or he won’t, if she isn’t appealing enough. Usually, “Philosophers” are jealous and authoritarian, so maintaining a mistress requires considerable effort. More than for adultery, the online girlfriend serves as a “chewing gum for the soul.” When he gets bored, he spits her out and finds a new one with a different taste. Therefore, when identifying a “Philosopher,” I advise running far away from him. Try not to become emotionally entangled in virtual relationships and avoid meeting him in person. These people, being unhappy themselves, spread unhappy vibrations around everyone nearby.
2. “The Prince”
This is a man of approximately the same age, either childless or regardless of whether he has children, who has successfully broken up his family. Sometimes a “Prince” appears online and gradually becomes a regular presence while still married. Unwilling to resolve family issues, he escapes into a pleasant virtual world where no one “nags” him. There, an atmosphere of masquerade prevails, with changing faces, masks, and usernames. He can prove his exceptional qualities and greatness to the whole world, as his already high need for recognition intensifies. His wife didn’t appreciate him, such a wonderful man—so he will receive admiration from dozens of other women. Since the dream of a prince lives in the subconscious of every woman raised on fairy tales, our hero soon develops a “fan club,” from which he selects girls for meetings. He behaves, by the way, like a fairy-tale prince—generously. And overall, he is honest: he will never claim you are the only woman in his life, and he’ll try not to flirt in chat with one girlfriend while another is present. These stories usually end well: the “Prince” finally chooses a girl from his “fan club,” and his personal life subsequently overshadows the virtual world for him. So the chance of becoming his princess is small, but it exists—if you’re the best. Or the most proactive. But once you’ve won over the “Prince,” you should carefully watch to ensure he doesn’t run back online to heal his emotional wounds from the difficult process of coexisting with another person—there, comforters will be found, and his role is already well-established.
3. “The Dwarf”
These “guys” spend the lion’s share of their time online purely for communication. Most often, they possess excellent verbal skills, vivid imagination, and a refined sense of humor. Moreover, they excel in correspondence and are unmatched masters of virtual romance. How they play on nerves! Hints, personal requests, jealousy—all of this emotionally binds the virtual girlfriend, making her anxious offline about his feelings. Falling into this sweet trap of emotional dependency, very similar to falling in love, a woman risks her emotional balance. Because later, two things become clear: first, in real life, he already has a girlfriend. A beloved one, at that. So why did he play these love games? For self-affirmation. That’s the whole mix. Second, it turns out that something is not quite right with our wonderful interlocutor. Either he suffers from obesity, or his face is covered in acne, or his height barely reaches one and a half meters. And if he is physically attractive, the situation isn’t much better—then he has serious psychological issues. What unites all these “beauties” is that they are insecure about something in their appearance or life. Some girl loved him despite everything. And he cherishes her because he’s not sure another will. At the same time, he is completely incapable of communicating with girls in places suitable for meeting. He fears judgment and rejection. But in the virtual world, he achieves two goals—being loved, to boost his self-esteem, and at the same time, taking revenge on all the women who reject him in real life. In reality, the romance most often ends in one of two ways. Either the “Dwarf,” convinced that his internet girlfriend is emotionally attached and in love, informs her online that their relationship means nothing because he already has a lover, and then enjoys the effect of hurting her. Or, much more rarely, he decides to take advantage of her affection and move the relationship into the real world. There, he behaves like an ordinary man who has both a wife and a mistress. But in this, “Dwarfs” fail: the virtual girlfriend, arriving at their first meeting, sees the monster she’s been communicating with all this time and instantly recovers from her infatuation. The “Dwarf” returns to the network, hurt, and continues following the first scenario for ending romances. Conclusion: don’t believe in intense love from someone who has never seen you. Be cautious with those you’ve never seen.
4. “Sysadmin”
“Sysadmins” share one common trait: they spend a lot of time at work, sitting at a computer connected to the network. They don’t make acquaintances out of mischief—they simply need to pass the time. Among them, there are very sociable people who work half the day and sleep the other half. The only thing clouding the bright image of a well-meaning “Sysadmin” is his wife. Whether common-law or legal doesn’t matter. The fact is, “Sysadmins” are most often married. And not out of malice, but for practical reasons—he simply can’t cook himself dumplings or wash his shirt after a work shift. “Sysadmins” are generally undemanding, so food and household care from a wife or girlfriend are enough to keep them in a marital state. A “Sysadmin” is lazy. If you aim to become his mistress, you should focus on proving your uniqueness. Methodically and purposefully convince the “Sysadmin” that you are perfection itself and practically a saint compared to the one shoving socks at him. You’ll plant doubts in his domesticated soul and, most likely, achieve intimacy with him—during his free time from work and his wife, which, I assure you, is very limited. If you plan to become a “Sysadmin’s” wife, you’ll need to adopt a completely different role—you’ll have to come to his workplace, bring him hot meals, and take care of his comfort. It wouldn’t hurt to invite the “Sysadmin” to your home and show him the order and coziness there.
5. “March Cat” Probably the most pleasant category of men looking for relationships: the “March Cat” is honest in his intentions. He definitely needs a woman and is looking for her everywhere he goes. Agreeing to meet a “March Cat” is worthwhile if your interests align, the information you’ve received about him satisfies you, and you won’t regret the time spent on the meeting. By the way, if your ICQ conversation didn’t impress you—if the man didn’t say anything particularly interesting, didn’t captivate you with profound conversation, or typed with mistakes—this is not a reason to refuse a meeting. Sometimes people don’t possess sufficient skills in written expression or fast typing to communicate elegantly. Yet they may speak willingly and listen attentively. Although sometimes it’s the other way around. Don’t rely too much on photographs: in practice, photos never provide an accurate impression of a virtual acquaintance’s appearance. Still, it’s advisable to obtain a photo before meeting, just to ensure you won’t faint at the sight of your suitor. The greatest chances of finding love lie precisely among the “Cats.” He needs a woman, you need a man. And if, with such a convergence of intentions, you like each other and understand one another, then happiness and love await you.
