20 ways in which this so-called weaker sex attempts to control us.
The average woman has 20 percent less muscle mass than the average man. And she is slightly less inclined toward logical thinking. But this is practically all we can oppose them with, while women possess the most powerful arsenal of tools for our destruction. A man can be compared to a slightly drunk strongman in a plaid shirt, who with a roar of “Hold me down, four of you!” is ready to punch someone in the jaw, but soon calms down and peacefully lies down in the nearest puddle. A woman, on the other hand, resembles a hired assassin wearing noble silks, never raising her voice and pleasantly smiling at everyone, but the moment you yawn—your appendix is already wrapped around your hypothalamus, and relatives are negotiating discounts with the funeral bureau.
In the past, when women spent more time with children, things were somewhat balanced. Generally, and quite reasonably, they yielded to us the right to wage war, plow fields, and rob banks, while staying at home themselves, quietly reproducing and nagging their men for a new hat, shoes, and insisting he absolutely murder the loathsome Duncan and seize his crown, while raising taxes in Scotland. A considerable portion of the most important historical decisions originated not in parliaments and assemblies, but in the malicious minds of wives, mothers, and mistresses, who officially cared only about embroidery on velvet, but unofficially controlled their royal husbands by the tail and mane.
Now they’ve even stopped masking it: an increasing number of public, political, and economic spheres are effectively coming under female control. Advertising, PR, marketing, customer service, headhunting, personnel management—women are beginning to take the lead in all these key areas of modern business, while we obediently hand them the reins of power. However, not all is hopeless. Men can adopt many distinctly feminine tactics—and in doing so become fully competitive with the fairer sex. Many well-known sociologists regard this symbiosis of male and female behavior as the most successful management strategy. Observe the methods she uses to outmaneuver you (whether in career or relationships). Perhaps some of them won’t seem so foolish or unscrupulous that you couldn’t adopt them as your own.
1. She doesn’t crave power
The role of a grey eminence comes far more naturally to women than to us. Initially, she needs far less than you do the complete submission of all males in the pack. For a woman, it’s more important that things are done exactly as she decides, while formalities such as ranks, positions, and hymns in her honor matter significantly less. Therefore, a woman is perfectly suited to be a skilled puppet master behind an official ruler: without complexes or jealousy, she will program his actions, gladly remaining in the shadows.
2. She is worse at forgiving
Long-term memory is better developed in women than in us—elephants themselves are envious. All mistakes and flaws, all offenses and tactless acts committed by others, a woman mentally records in a very black little notebook—not to take revenge, but to clearly understand what a particular person is capable of. Twenty years of your humble monkhood will not erase from her memory the fact that you flirted with the waitress on your third date. Yet women far less frequently than men step on the same rake, trusting once again someone they shouldn’t.
3. She is better at speaking
No, shouting slogans from a podium, inspiring crowds and shaking parliaments, will remain the domain of our sex. That’s a simple matter: it only requires a powerful voice, plenty of enthusiasm, and a competent speechwriter. She is far more interested in programming a solitary interlocutor during a private, face-to-face conversation. The entire female verbal arsenal comes into play: the ability to articulate words faster, modulate intonation more frequently, feigned willingness to yield to the interlocutor, thereby convincing him that he himself made the decision that was neatly slipped into his mind half an hour earlier.
4. She isn’t afraid to appear weak
A system administrator grimly and obediently explains to a woman what that box is and which button must never be pressed. Male coworkers, meanwhile, thank higher powers that they aren’t women. By the way, they themselves don’t really understand how the box works either, but it would never occur to them to publicly admit such a shameful ignorance. Therefore, women, who usually don’t hesitate to ask questions, acknowledge they don’t understand something, and demand explanations in simple terms, often handle new tasks more effectively. And when lost, they calmly ask locals for directions, rather than dying of scurvy and exhaustion at the confusing crossroads of Zhulebino.
5. She likes people more
Women pay more attention than we do to appearance, clothing, manners, and habits of those around them simply because they enjoy studying and observing people more. They are also interested in the personal details of everyone nearby: children’s health, dog behavior, and in which dress the secretary’s cousin got married—was it with a corsage or without. Therefore, they possess far more information about coworkers, neighbors, and acquaintances than you do.
6. She needs less sex
No matter how modern girls boast about their passion and sex appeal, in this regard they can’t hold a candle to us. The difference in our sexual needs was perfectly described by Stephen Fry in his novel “Mythos.” «I want people to accept a simple truth: men like sex, women don’t. When my female friends hear this, they immediately start arguing. They insist that anonymous hookups are pure bliss, that just two days ago they met a guy with an ass almost as good as Mel Gibson’s and everything got wet. Two days ago? What about two minutes? What about every branching minute of every damned day?!» Thus, when interacting with practically any woman, we are unable to stop thinking about what kind of bra she’s wearing and whether she likes the missionary position. No, “thinking” isn’t quite the right verb. We simply feel this question inside us—it lives there alongside our kidneys, ribs, and the things that produce testosterone. Yes, we want to please them. All of them, without exception: fat, married, hysterical, and lesbians! That’s why we so often give in when we shouldn’t.
7. She more easily asks for forgiveness
Admitting guilt is always a defeat. And if there’s one thing we can’t tolerate, it’s defeat. The dreadful ritual of “asking for forgiveness” is always a test of strength for a man (especially if he has to apologize to another man). For most women, asking for forgiveness is as easy and natural as sneezing. They perform this act mechanically, hardly thinking about it.
8. She is more cautious
He who doesn’t risk drinks not only champagne but also potassium cyanide. We highly value winners who weren’t afraid to take risks. But we shouldn’t forget that a considerable part of the soil consists of the remains of those who also took risks, but less successfully. A woman is less reckless than a man, especially when it comes to the fates of people for whom she is responsible.
9. She actively uses her attractiveness
When was the last time you wore tight pants to an important negotiation? Or even a shirt matching your eye color? Meanwhile, a person’s physical attractiveness generates greater trust in their words and professionalism, regardless of the listener’s gender. Image consultants have already drilled this truth into male politicians. Everyone else still naively believes it’s beneath their dignity.
10. She knows how to flatter perfectly
Flattery is a weapon of immense power, and you and I understand this well. But only members of certain ruling parties and women are capable of summoning the courage to deliver a flawless, maliciously sweet compliment.
– By the way, you’re absolutely right—we need a new refrigerator.
– Um… Me? Right about what? What refrigerator? When did I say that?
– Don’t you remember? At Valyechka’s dacha, you said our fridge overfreezes vegetables. You don’t recall? No? I told you then it was nonsense, though I really shouldn’t argue with you about household matters. You have such excellent judgment in these things!
– Damn, I don’t remember…
– You’re so modest, never wanting to show me I’ve acted foolishly… Darling, I adore you so much!
11. She avoids competition more easily
Imagine a boxer stepping into the ring, thoughtfully eyeing his beast-like opponent, and saying: “Listen, buddy, why should we act like children, ruining each other’s faces with punches? Let’s go down instead and beat up all those weaklings in the audience together?” You find it funny, but women often behave exactly like this. When a strong personality appears in their field of vision, they often see not an inevitable rival to fight, but a powerful ally with whom they can more easily trample everything alive around them.
12. She submits more easily
Women’s self-esteem depends significantly less on their position on the social ladder. Moreover, subordination means far less to them than it does to you and me—the phrase “the boss is always right” seems highly questionable to them. When a superior enters the room, a woman doesn’t adopt a hunched, constricted posture of submission; her stance and gestures hardly change whether she’s speaking to a janitor or a president. Therefore, the stress of being in a subordinate position is almost unknown to women.
13. She is an individualist and doesn’t know how to work in a team
A more pitiful sight than women’s football is undoubtedly only women’s hockey. Women simply don’t know how to renounce their “I” and become a cog in a perfectly functioning machine. And therein lies the weakness of female collectives, but also the strength of a single woman for whom She is always She, and everyone else is just everyone else. Thus, where a man might accept an unpleasant task for the team’s benefit, a woman will prefer her own game with maximum personal gain.
14. She is kinder
Generally, women don’t like walking over corpses. And it’s not because of high heels, but because the sight of defeated and destroyed enemies brings them far less joy than it does you. Pursuing and finishing off a victim is beneath the feminine character. If an enemy no longer poses a threat, many women are quite capable of even sympathizing with them. Here’s how a man imagines the perfect revenge: “I stand over the fallen scoundrel with a gun, slowly, lustfully aiming, and fire a bullet between his eyes. That’s pure bliss. Maybe I’ll rip out his heart and eat it too—but that’s just details.” A woman’s ideal revenge looks different: “I step out from a fancy evening party accompanied by a fabulously handsome millionaire, about to get into a gleaming limousine. Passing by on the street is the wicked woman—forty kilos heavier, in curlers, carrying a shopping bag with a bottle of kefir sticking out. After friendly hugs and a conversation revealing that her husband left her, she was fired, and woodlice have infested her apartment, I arrange for her to work as a secretary at a partner firm and give her my cosmetologist’s phone number.” As a result, women devote far less energy to hostility and revenge than men. Of course, she is capable of deceit and mischief, but taking serious risks for an ephemeral victory over an opponent is simply not in her nature.
15. Common sense more often prevails over principles in her
Paradoxically, a tendency toward logical thinking often forces men to behave illogically. We tend to create programs for any situation. Suppose we are mole hunters—upon seeing a mole, we strike it on the back of the neck with a stick. Having done this a hundred times, we’ll do it the hundred-and-first time too, regardless of the fact that the mole had blue eyes and a tiny crown on its head. Women are less likely to follow a program; they more often orient themselves according to the situation. And this often proves to be a winning strategy, even though it gives the fairer sex a reputation for being capricious and unpredictable.
16. She copes with stress more easily
Many distinctly female activities are inherently meditative. Painting nails, dusting, knitting, relaxing in a bath with aromatic salts—women spend a significant part of their time on these monotonous, rhythmic actions that don’t overly burden the mind. Moreover, it is women who have widely mastered the art of bibliotherapy—mindlessly reading books, often practically meaningless, through which they completely disconnect from the outside world. You and I, to escape the problems nesting in our heads, either need to punch punching bags in gyms or drown ourselves in alcohol at bars. Women achieve significantly better results with far less energy expenditure. Try sorting a couple of kilograms of millet in your free time—you’ll discover the Truth.
17. She expresses her emotions more easily
Emotions are contagious. One person laughs—everyone smiles; someone yawns—everyone feels sleepy. Women don’t try to hide their emotions as something indecent and readily transmit their mood to everyone around. And along with it, her proposal package rolls through, which would be no better than yours if you presented it with a bit more emotion.
18. She adapts more easily
Sociopsychologists consider the female leadership style conservative and the male style revolutionary. Yet women show far less conservatism when it comes to radically restructuring their universe. A man knocked out of his usual life rhythm often cannot accept new rules. Psychologically more flexible, a woman can adapt where even cockroaches wouldn’t survive.
19. She fears being seen as a bitch less than you fear being seen as a scoundrel
A woman’s reputation as a bitch doesn’t harm her professional prospects. On the contrary, it’s commonly believed that a bitch is precisely the star player of the women’s league—someone who has overcome weak feminine compliance and possesses the animal tenacity necessary in modern business. Meanwhile, a man’s reputation as a scoundrel or villain can destroy his career in two seconds.
20. She lies brilliantly
Women’s speech apparatus is structured slightly differently from men’s—researchers established this back in the 1960s. The main difference is that language centers in women are less actively connected to primary memory centers, making it almost natural for them to speak about things they don’t think. Unlike us, for whom the necessity to lie always causes inner tension.
