Everyone sooner or later has to ask for forgiveness, because that’s how we’re built—we love to offend and take offense. But sooner or later we realize we overreacted, and therefore need to apologize.
There are several possible scenarios:
Beg for forgiveness for a long time, tearfully, wringing your hands and banging your head against the wall
This rather theatrical method works well when the quarrel is trivial, when someone is sulking, but both parties clearly understand that the offense will quickly pass. Such a loud repentance simply helps to make the offended person laugh. It’s easier then to return to previous relations.
Bribe the offended person
You don’t need to slip an envelope with cash under the pillow, but you can simply show your care and attention by buying or making something necessary or pleasant for the person you’ve wronged. Everyone loves gifts, even if you’ve angered someone so much that your present and help are rejected. Don’t despair. Your step toward reconciliation will still be noted. It’s better to try giving something than to sit in the opposite corner with a sulky expression. Besides, your gift will most likely be accepted after reconciliation. A little patience—and your efforts will pay off.
Write a letter
Or at least send a text message. Because apologies are much easier to express in writing than in speech, when a pre-prepared speech might suddenly sound awkward or insincere. Your letter may be reread several times (which works in your favor) or torn up unread (that happens too). So in any case, a verbal explanation should follow the written one. What if you didn’t write it from the heart?
Talk it out
This, generally, is the most correct way. Ideally, it should become a calm conclusion to your argument, a resolution of the conflict that caused you to offend the person in the first place. You should express your arguments, but don’t forget to listen to the other person’s points as well. If it’s clear that no truth will emerge from the dispute, and you don’t want to stay in conflict, leave things as they are: you remain with your opinion, your “opponent” with theirs. Say this openly. And under no circumstances should you agree with the other person just to appease them. Otherwise, you’ll get a new quarrel and a headache.
Just say “sorry”
Simply approach and apologize, admit your mistakes, listen to the accusations against you (probably justified), realize the depth of your error, and try to make amends if that’s what the offended party requires.
Repent but not apologize
Who said apologizing is easy? It’s simply impossibly hard! Not everyone can utter that short word “sorry,” especially to a close or beloved person. You can show your repentance through penitent silence, sad eyes, or deep sighs—whatever works for you. Actually, people who can’t bring themselves to apologize have it the hardest: they experience this tragedy internally, they become sad and reproach themselves for having caused offense. Often, they themselves need comforting and reassurance that nothing terrible has happened.
Sorry, sorry, sorry
When someone is angry and furious with you, and you couldn’t care less, you take the path of least resistance—apologizing without putting any real meaning into the words, ready to repeat them like a parrot twenty times in a row. You do it simply because you have to, if someone decided to take offense. If the person is just an acquaintance, it might work. But with someone close… you risk your relationship. On the other hand, if you truly don’t care that your loved ones are offended, there’s something to think about. Overall, it’s a poor method—better not to abuse it.
Sulk yourself
A very cunning method—pretend to be the offended one yourself. Here, a battle of characters unfolds. The gentler person will yield first. Or you could stay mad at each other for years, all that time wondering: What exactly did we fall out over back then?
But the most important thing is to genuinely want reconciliation—and then the right words will come naturally.
