Men are just like children. And, like children, they are full of various annoying habits. We’re not talking about smoking or a compulsive nail-biting tendency. These are habits typical mostly of men. They are the cause of most minor household quarrels and conflicts. Hardly any woman, upon seeing such “antics,” fails to feel a maternal urge to correct the “little rascal.” But not all habits are the same—while some can be corrected, others are better accepted, and some may even lead to divorce.
Excuse me and don’t mind
There are habits men have that stem more from personal taste or character than from bad manners. Habits often reflect your partner’s character far better than his words or even actions. Those rooted deep in childhood are hard to change, and generally cause little harm, so in such cases it’s easier to accept them than to impose your own preferences. Especially if these habits don’t affect your self-esteem, comfort, or relationships with others.
- You don’t like the way he dresses.
- He listens to music too loudly.
- He eats very quickly (or slowly, noisily, or enjoys unhealthy foods).
- He doesn’t lower the TV volume when you’re on the phone.
- You disagree on certain matters, such as spending money or politics.
- He spends a lot of time on his hobbies.
- He is messy and leaves his things everywhere, or conversely, is meticulous to the point of pedantry.
- He snores loudly in his sleep.
Of course, what woman isn’t annoyed by the eternal male question, “Where are my socks?” Especially when he can effortlessly find the right car part in a garage full of junk. Of course, with enough determination, even these habits can be attempted to correct. But just think—do you really need to? Because in trying to change the very essence of the man you fell in love with, you might end up changing his feelings toward you.
Generally, if you’re guiding him onto the right path, do so tactfully and carefully.
Without a doubt, some habits demonstrate sheer rudeness, disrespect toward you or others, and a lack of upbringing:
- He swears excessively.
- He doesn’t know how to behave at the dinner table.
- He can’t control himself in public (makes inappropriate noises, scratches private areas, etc.).
- He comments on other women’s beauty in your presence.
- He is lazy (does nothing around the house, spends too much time lying on the couch).
- He spends every weekend with his friends.
- He is slovenly and unclean.
Usually, such habits arise not from a desire to shock society, but because the man simply doesn’t know how to behave differently. In such cases, it’s not what you say that matters, but how you say it. Don’t embarrass him by scolding or criticizing him in front of others. Wait until you’re alone, or at least pull him aside where no one can hear. Speak gently and avoid a condescending tone. A good opening might be: “Darling, you probably don’t notice, but you do this too often… I think it might make people think less of you than you truly deserve.” If the man truly loves you, he will listen and try to restrain himself.
If he’s unwilling to do something, forcing him is pointless. After all, there’s work around the house that’s strictly men’s work—like drilling a hole or hammering in a nail. And sometimes he just wants to unwind outside the home. It’s far more effective to use affection, cleverness, or even bribery. But don’t let it slide constantly, or he’ll completely relax and stop getting off the couch altogether.
Give up all hope if
Sometimes a man’s behavior stems from deeper psychological issues that can’t be fixed with a simple conversation.
- He is rude to strangers.
- He must always be right.
- He is immature for his age.
- He belittles you in front of others.
- He is jealous of you toward your family and friends.
- He eats all the prepared food without wondering whether you’ll eat.
- He is pathologically stingy or, conversely, wasteful.
It may seem attractive to date a “bad boy”—this is exactly the kind of situation where parents wish they could control their grown daughters more. You are too good for him. This man will never become a gentleman, no matter how much kindness or selflessness you invest in re-educating him. Disrespectful and self-centered behavior often escalates into emotional pressure and physical abuse. It doesn’t matter how handsome or generous he is—run from him as fast as you can before it’s too late. Don’t waste your time and feelings on him—he won’t appreciate them.
