Bitch – the nightmare of all men and the ideal for many women. But is it true that bitches have it easy? How can you test yourself for bitchiness?
Portrait of a bitch
What is a bitch? What are her distinguishing traits, worldview, and habits?
Appearance. A bitch loves herself and is used to pampering her appearance in every way. It’s hard to catch her with messy hair or in an unkempt state. She willingly spends money (her own and others’) on self-transformation: clothing, salon treatments, etc. She always looks somewhat arrogant, but that’s part of her charm. Cold, piercing gaze, tight lips… A man will need considerable courage to approach such a Snow Queen.
Behavior. She carries herself with great dignity and a healthy dose of sarcasm. As a rule, a bitch has a sense of humor, and her speech is as sharp as a razor. She is cynical, realistic, and skeptical about everything. She prefers not to trust people. More cunning than intelligent, she skillfully manipulates those around her. She hates criticism. For any careless remark directed at her, she may deliver a brilliant session of “verbal thrashing,” after which her victim risks developing several new complexes.
Goals. These may vary, but a bitch always clearly knows what she wants and achieves it by any means available. As a rule, despite her outward self-confidence and self-sufficiency, a bitch constantly seeks to reaffirm herself—often with the help of other people.
Men. Not every man can get along with a bitch. As a rule, two types of men are attracted to such women. First, submissive men who agree to play a passive role in relationships. They are so shocked that such a stunning woman has noticed them that they are ready to endure all her jabs.
The second type are strong-willed, strong-spirited men who want a “worthy opponent” in a relationship. They find it exciting to play the game of “taming the unruly.”
One of the finest qualities of any bitch is the ability to take care of herself. She loves herself so much that she will never allow anyone to hurt her and will always create the most comfortable conditions for herself. Another advantage of a bitch: absence of guilt. She never scolds or punishes herself for “mistakes and flaws.” A bitch never considers herself guilty and never apologizes (and if she does apologize, it’s most likely just part of her grand game).
Bitchiness test
If you want to find out how much of a bitch you are, take our test. Answer as honestly as possible.
1. You arrive at a party in a gorgeous dress and suddenly see a girl wearing the exact same outfit. Your actions:
A) I’ll be upset, of course. But what can you do? I’ll try to stay as far away from my double as possible.
B) I’ll find a way to transform my dress, for example, with a scarf or accessories. And if that’s not possible, I’ll joke, shine with wit, and still manage to outshine that girl and everyone else.
C) “Accidentally” spill red wine on her dress—and the problem is solved.
2. Your boyfriend is going to hang out with his friends. He doesn’t invite you. What do you do?
A) I’ll stay home and brood: What did I do wrong? Why doesn’t he want to spend time with me? etc.
B) I’ll use the free evening to organize a super girls’ night. Or simply treat myself to a beauty salon/massage/fitness workout.
C) I’ll go to the club and pick up a replacement man. Let my boyfriend know that a woman like me should never be left unattended.
3. Your boss criticizes you at work. Your reaction:
A) I’ll blame myself for making a mistake.
B) I’ll turn the situation to my advantage by any means. I’ll shine with talent, exceed my targets, or stand out in some other way so that my boss fears losing such a valuable employee.
C) I’ll throw a tantrum. Or shift the blame onto others. Or simply quit. They’ll regret it later.
4. You’ve caught your man cheating. Your actions:
A) Life is over! I’ll go hang myself. But first, I’ll still try to beg him not to leave me.
B) Great! Now I have a reason to think about what’s wrong in our relationship and what I can change. I’ll analyze my mistakes, and my life will become even better—whether with him or without him.
C) Now that’s luck! Now he’s hooked, and I can blackmail him with his affair for the rest of his life. Where to start? Maybe with a diamond bracelet?
5. The following motto resonates most with you:
A) You can’t escape fate.
B) Everything happens for the best.
C) I’m the puppet master, and the rest are just my marionettes.
Tallying up
Now count which answers you have the most of.
If your answers are mostly A, you clearly lack bitchiness. You’re too used to playing the passive victim. But this role won’t help you change your life or achieve what you want. Try taking control of your life! Imagine yourself as the director of your own theater. And you’ll see you’re no longer just a helpless fish tossed by the waves of fate.
If you have mostly B answers, you’re the perfect bitch. Combining ingenuity and psychological flexibility, you move through life easily, skillfully obtaining everything you need. Keep carefully balancing on this edge, and you’ll achieve everything. Most importantly, be ready to laugh not only at others but also at yourself. Then your bitchiness won’t push people away. Or at least not all of them.
Finally, if you have many C answers, your bitchiness has long been out of control. You’ve locked yourself into the image of a “cool lady.” But while this image once helped you stand up for yourself, now it limits your possibilities.
Try thinking more flexibly and being a bit smarter. Then your affairs will go much more successfully. Remember, life will be whatever you want it to be. But don’t bang your head against walls. Acting relentlessly, you’re only wasting precious energy. Turn to positive psychology, and you’ll see there are much simpler and more pleasant ways to make your wishes come true.
