There is a certain type of woman—unsuccessful in personal life (NLP). Practice shows that true representatives of this type are typically found in the age category of 30 and older. Conditionally, they can be divided into several subtypes.
The Woman Who Understands Everything (WWE)
She understands all his problems—those which usually his wife does not understand. Yes, she also understands why he cannot divorce his wife. Sometimes this understanding lasts for many years. The WWE knows she must not ask unnecessary questions and should instead avoid creating any problems at all. That means being always ready—ready even to take time off her own job if he suddenly has a “window” of free time, freed from wife, children, and work. Low-paid work, at that. So the WWE gives him nice trousers for his birthday, a jacket for his child, and face powder for his wife.
The WWE understands he cannot go to the seaside with her. She understands that in the evenings he must visit his terminally ill mother-in-law, along with his seriously ill wife and son who has psychological issues. With the same understanding, she accepts his parish duties and suitcase care. He usually comes for a short while and leaves quickly—immediately after a call from his seriously ill wife on his mobile phone. After he leaves, the terminally ill mother-in-law pounds on the door to the WWE’s apartment. The WWE understands she must not open the door and remains silent, barely breathing, in the smoky corner of her lonely apartment.
After armored doors—ripped off their hinges by the decibel force of his terminally ill mother-in-law—are repaired, the WWE decides to break up with him once and for all. But then he appears with a modest bouquet of mimosa and utters the magical incantation: “You understand everything…” This phrase works like a spell on the WWE, and she continues understanding for many more years of their hopeless relationship. When the WWE’s age finally allows her to stop understanding everything, she remains behind the armored doors of her solitude, in complete incomprehension.
Don’t Want to Marry (DWM)
She actually does want to. But constantly claims she doesn’t. Some universal intelligence, together with green men and feminists, has convinced her that marriage is legalized prostitution, and tossing a pair of socks into the washing machine is an unbearable burden for a woman. She doesn’t notice obvious contradictions. Though secretly she senses something is wrong. It feels lonely. Especially at night, when the wind blows outside the windows, and maybe it wouldn’t be so awful—just a couple of not-so-dirty socks. But no! She drives away these treacherous thoughts and signs of weakness! “Why would I need marriage? I earn my own living! I hate when someone flits back and forth in front of my eyes, back and forth!” The list of stated motivations and arguments is endless. She dumps them all on occasional companions who appear on her barren horizon. And she pays for herself at cafes. But men—creatures not only skittish but also usually submissive—think: well, if she doesn’t want it, then fine. Didn’t really want it anyway. If you don’t want it, then you don’t. And the DWM shines with her eyes, lighting up her sleepless night. And every now and then, a fleeting thought arises: “God, what a fool I am!” But morning comes, dispelling the night terrors, and once again, proudly, she declares to the next suitor: “I’m only interested in sex and business relationships!” By all means, if you insist. “And full relationship freedom,” she adds uncertainly at the end. Of course, who could oppose relationship freedom? Well, except maybe venereologists. But even they aren’t really against—it’s all bread and butter. And so the DWM lies awake again, because she wants it and it stings, yet no one calls anymore.
She’s successful, her suit is neat, she loves her work. And still she keeps up the habit of not wanting. But now no one dares. They’re afraid. They’re used to it. Much better—just a joint project, tireless sexual exercise—no one owes anything to anyone. After all, that’s what she wanted, not marriage, right? A wonderful world where dreams come true!
Want to Marry (WTM)
The complete opposite of DWM. Wants to marry at any cost, to anyone. What drives her is unclear. Or rather, there are so many reasons that isolating the main one has so far been impossible. Time is passing. All her friends are married. Her mother insists. It’s time to have children. No wedding photos. And so on. Every representative of the male sex within reach is perceived as a potential husband. She already mentally tries on a “black funeral suit” for the colleague who invited her to a café. A business partner gives her a glance, and the new neighbor on the staircase has already been asked to buy bread, invited for tea—and into bed. In the morning, the WTM, wrapped in a bathrobe, brews coffee and coos, innocently gazing into his horrified eyes. In the struggle to get married, all means are good. From such women come excellent “non-understanding” wives. The chosen one usually fails to meet expectations—he’s a crude creature with a small salary—and oh! why didn’t she marry Ivan Ivanovich? Or Vasily Petrovich? Well, she divorces just as easily and begins searching for a new man. The process is as senseless and relentless as her desire to get married.
The Pitying Woman (PW)
A far more dangerous subtype than the Woman Who Understands Everything. A guilt complex, implanted in early childhood, prevents her from building equal relationships with anyone. She always pities someone—her mother, father, grandmother, grandfather. She buys diapers for toddler nephews and treats her brother for alcoholism. She does work for a more successful coworker just for a “thank you.” A man can always count on a bowl of borscht and phrases like: “Ah, you poor thing!”, “Lie down, rest,” and “No need, I’ll do it myself!” This quickly becomes boring for him. Even faster, her endless phone calls with friends needing psychological support, and late-night taxi trips from Odintsovo to Balashikha because her mother needs activated charcoal and her father’s cat needs a sedative for sexual excitement. Still, for such a woman, there will always be someone to pity until the last breath. Personal happiness means nothing to her. If there’s no one left to pity, she withers, fades, and might passionately adopt a dog. The unfortunate animal is doomed.
Of course, the vividly expressed examples presented here do not reflect the entire spectrum of diversity among those unsuccessful in personal life. We are not considering today mama’s girls, unhappy wives, or ordinary promiscuous women. However, all of them have a chance to transform by following the principle of “Help yourself.” That is, by themselves. Because first and foremost, she is a woman. And everything else is within your power.
