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Courses on the art of meeting and seducing women, or male pickup, have long been known. However, recently, classes on female pickup have also begun actively entering fashion. So what do they teach there?
You can meet a man anywhere. I, for example, met my boyfriend online. Not on a dating site, actually, but on a literary forum. It’s been calculated that every fifth couple today meets on the Internet. And what about traditional meeting places like cafes or the subway? There are always many men there, and it’s ideal if the guy you like starts a conversation with you himself—but what if he doesn’t? I came across an advertisement for female pickup courses—the art of meeting men. I decided to attend these classes and test their effectiveness on myself, since they promised to teach how to easily meet any man in any place. I can’t say my boyfriend was thrilled by this idea, but my feminine and professional curiosity prevailed.
Charming Words The classes were held in an office located in one of the apartments of a new building. Fourteen women eager to master the art of meeting men had signed up. The youngest was 18, the oldest—36. Diana, a tall, slender blonde and the course instructor, asked us to explain why we weren’t successful in meeting men. The reason was the same for everyone—shyness. After all, it’s commonly accepted that the initiative should come from the man.
“According to research, 95% of men like it when a woman approaches first, and 71% consider it normal if a woman invites them on a date,” Diana announced confidently. “Therefore, the main goal for a woman is to make the man want to see her again. This is what’s called female pickup or the art of attracting the attention of the opposite sex.” Further from her monologue, it followed that before starting to meet men, you need to determine exactly what kind of man you’re looking for. This will influence your choice of places where you’ll ‘pick up’ your chosen one. Our classes consisted of studying theory and completing homework assignments. We examined various methods of meeting people in specific locations, and as homework, we applied this knowledge in practice. During the classes, we learned that the magical phrase “I immediately noticed you’re smarter (braver, more handsome) than others,” said during an introduction, works almost flawlessly on men. The trick is to single the man out from the crowd. According to research, nine out of ten men fall for this bait.
In the Workplace Office romance isn’t just a plot for melodramas. It turns out that marriages between colleagues are usually very strong. First, spouses understand each other’s passions; second, they’re always aware of each other’s successes and failures at work, so they can timely praise or support one another. Therefore, meeting at work is a promising option. My friend Galyna, for instance, met her future husband right within the walls of her office. Serhiy started working there when she had already been employed for over a year. The young man immediately appealed to her, and Galyna, taking advantage of her ‘veteran’ status, bravely initiated the conversation. She chose a perfectly logical, albeit rather banal, pretext. “Hi, I’m Galyna. Maybe we could go to lunch together, and I’ll show you around the office,” she suggested to the new employee. Catching the attention of someone among the ‘old-timers’ is also very simple. After all, you work together, so you’ll always have a few questions within his area of expertise.
After listening to the theoretical details of meeting men at work, I began searching within my almost entirely female team for men I hadn’t yet met. Finding such a person—system administrator Ihor—I confidently dialed his internal phone number and, in an innocent voice, said I had an important document I couldn’t find. Ten minutes later, Ihor was sitting by my monitor, explaining how to recover lost files. I smiled gratefully and said I’d immediately noticed he was far more talented than the IT managers I’d known before. In response, Ihor suggested we have lunch together sometime.
Cafes, Bars, and Restaurants Once in a cafe, I observed the following scene: a young woman around 25 sat at one table, and two men around 30 sat at the neighboring one. The girl kept looking interestedly at one of them until finally she called the waitress and asked her to deliver a note. Within minutes, the girl was sitting at the same table with the two young men. As I was leaving the cafe, I couldn’t resist asking the waitress what was written in the note. It turned out to be just five words: “I really liked your friend.”
The course explained that meeting men in cafes, bars, and restaurants is the best way to learn as much as possible about a man during the first meeting. First, pay attention to what he orders—this will tell you about his attitude toward health. Then observe how he eats—this reveals how well-mannered he is. And importantly, notice how he pays: whether he counts every penny, leaves a tip, or parts with money easily. The best places to visit for meeting people are those where tables are usually all taken. The ideal way to introduce yourself is to ask permission to join at a shared table. But men rarely go to such places alone, so if possible, bring a girlfriend along.
Armed with knowledge of bar and restaurant pickup, I persuaded my colleague Vita to go for lunch not to our usual cafeteria but to a cafe across from our office. Unfortunately, there were plenty of free tables in the place. We had to use our imagination. Vita and I approached, with perfectly calm expressions, the table of two attractive young men sitting by the window. We justified our desire to join them by saying the free tables were right under strong air conditioning drafts, and we didn’t want to catch a cold. The guys hospitably invited us to sit with them. During the conversation, we found out one of them was hopelessly married, and the other—a chronic workaholic. Still, the second one asked for our phone numbers because he was impressed by our sense of humor: it turned out there were no air conditioners in that place at all.
But where there’s real hunting ground is on city streets. Here you can easily find plenty of reasons to approach a man you like. It’s simplest to meet pet owners. Ideally, if you have a pet yourself. And if you’re behind the wheel, you can confidently ask a man to help you park. Or you could ask to borrow his mobile phone to urgently call your mom, take a photo of you, or simply ask for directions to a certain street.
Experts in female pickup claim that in street meetings, the key is to subtly convince the man of the necessity to meet again. For example, if you find out he knows a lot about cars, tell him you’re just about to buy a small car on credit and need help choosing one.
While completing my homework assignment on pickup in the city’s Central Park, I armed myself with a camera and asked men to take my photo in front of a monument. Men happily took pictures, but starting a conversation proved difficult. Only on the fifth try did I manage to engage a young man in conversation. I asked if he could help me find the black-and-white photo mode on my new digital camera. The young man honestly admitted he wasn’t tech-savvy, unlike his best friend, a professional photographer. I immediately told him I urgently needed to create a portfolio and asked if he could introduce me to his friend. We exchanged phone numbers and agreed to call the next day.
Female Tricks Shared interests are the best pretext for meeting. To achieve this, you should attend specialized courses, exhibitions, gyms, or other interest-based groups. It’s easy to meet people there. Moreover, psychologists assure us: nothing brings people closer like common passions.
But no matter where you meet a man, you should always remember several proven rules of female pickup. Interestingly, 80% of men will definitely continue communicating with a woman who asked him for help during the introduction (whether choosing a gift for her dad or changing a tire), and 75% of men will inevitably try to meet a woman who, while making intense eye contact, asks why he’s looking at her like that. And another female trick: if you meet a man, he helps you with something, but doesn’t show interest, offer him your hand when parting. Research shows that a handshake subtly brings people closer on an instinctive level.
Ten classes on the art of meeting men brought results. Of the 14 course participants, 10 met several potential suitors. One left the course already on the fifth session after meeting the man of her dreams during a homework assignment, and this love at first sight turned out to be mutual. And I, pleased with new acquaintances and interesting insights, suddenly
realized I had already made my most important pickup in life—back when I gave my phone number to a young man on a literary forum.
