As a child grows, he absorbs behavior patterns like a sponge from the parental home. Later, he puts into practice the well-known wisdom about the apple not falling far from the tree. That will come later; for now, as he sprawls across his crib, it is the stars that guide him.
If you value your belongings, lock them away securely. Your child, born with a thorn in one spot, feels an irresistible need for control. He requires exhaustive information about where and why things are placed, and what will happen if their location is changed. By the way, don’t expect the joyful squeals of a little Aries upon seeing toys—this object carries symbolic meaning for you, but he alone decides what counts as a toy and what is just nonsense. So don’t be surprised if expensive dolls and construction sets are left forgotten, while the child chooses, say, a blender as his favorite plaything. And by the way, it’s not advisable to take it away from him—it won’t work anyway. Just wait until he grows tired of it. What tantrums? His logic is ironclad: a blender is cooler than a cheap Chinese toy mixer.
Taurus In adult life, Taurus will need the ability to break through walls on the path to his goals, but these very traits will be more terrifying than nuclear war for his parents. For example, he may decide he no longer wants to go to daycare. Period. This is when parents will discover where crayfish hibernate, where Kuzma’s mother lives, and that they were indeed expelled from paradise. This time, the impenetrable wall will be his “I won’t go,” against which your flattery, coaxing, bribes, treats, and even the whip will shatter completely. The little Taurus also masters another skill perfectly—one that will serve him well later, but for now drives his parents to distraction: he does everything thoroughly. So it’s pointless to scream hysterically in the hallway, straining your vocal cords: “We’re late, just tie these damn shoelaces already!” Take a deep breath—Taurus will grow up, earn plenty of money, and you’ll have a wonderful opportunity to heal your exhausted nervous system at the expense of your now-grown child.
Gemini You might as well order container shipments to supply your toddler with encyclopedias. As soon as he learns the alphabet, he’ll dive headfirst into studying encyclopedias, completely unfazed that most of them are written in Latin. The secret is simple: he doesn’t read—he studies. And prepare yourself to hear hundreds of “why?” questions per minute. Your only consolation is that the little Gemini doesn’t care about answers; he gets a thrill simply from asking questions. But silence won’t work—you’ll have to try answering someone, at least. Also beloved by him are scary tales, though they leave him trembling with fear from the nightmares they inspire. So here’s what awaits you: first, he’ll demand a detailed account of how the fox ate the Kolobok or how the wolf devoured Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother; then, he’ll crawl into your bed, demanding protection from greedy predators until morning.
Cancer If you’re not prepared to wholeheartedly fulfill your parental duties, don’t have a Cancer child. This is a natural video recorder who remembers everything. Literally everything. This intense attention to reality doesn’t come free—he creates in his imagination an alternate reality that meets his demands and moves in to live there. In his imaginary world, friends are more reliable than their foolish earthly counterparts (kids from the yard, etc.), and he can even fly, since the laws of physics in his fantasy world allow it. Attentive parents, noticing this, will immediately sound all alarms and frantically study information provided by child psychologists. For inattentive parents, this fact will pass unnoticed. Yes, you’ve given birth to a chameleon. He knows exactly what adults want to hear, so he’ll say only that. And while you melt at the sight of your angel incarnate, he’ll quietly be bombarding the planet Tatooine.
Leo He may not know the concept of feng shui, but he’s absolutely certain about the arrangement of things in the Universe: at the center is HIM, and everything else, spinning in a small orbit, does exactly what he desires. The bad news is that as Leo grows up, his behavior doesn’t change, so parents shouldn’t expect to relax. But Leo is a social creature—this is built into his nature. He will make every effort to surround his pack with care. So you might find half-melted lollipops in his pockets, dusted with sand from the playground. What a thoughtful little boy—he was treated, but remembered his mom and brought her a sweet treat. There’s no other way: you’re met with the heir’s touching gaze—eat the offering.
Virgo A complicated case. No conflicts for you. Always obedient. Is he real? His ability to always be right sometimes leaves adults stunned. How is this possible? He’s just a child! That’s not fair! We can’t blame parents who think this way. A small dose of tar in the honey is his tendency to draw on the wallpaper. Active games don’t appeal much to little Virgos; they become fascinated with chess and soon start delivering checkmates and checks to grandpa, who, by the way, holds a first-class rank. That’s not fair! We understand grandpa and don’t blame him. Virgo is a trusting personality who struggles to recognize flattery. So not every parent gets the chance to praise their child nonstop for 24 hours without risking mistakes in building his self-esteem.
Libra Educational practice offers a decent technique: letting the child make his own decisions. Something like: “You can eat one more portion of ice cream, but that might give you tonsillitis, and in that case, our trip to the zoo tomorrow will be postponed. Or you can avoid the risk and go to the zoo tomorrow for sure. You decide.” But! This doesn’t work with little Libras! He is unable to make a choice and doesn’t like doing so. Everything seems so appealing! You’ll be the worst sadists if you lead him to the toy shelf and tell him to pick something. At that moment, his brain explodes, because for each toy he applies thousands of criteria assessing how good it is and how well it suits him. Don’t torment the child—buy him something without forcing a choice. Otherwise, everything is wonderful: these are cheerful and curious kids who don’t make unnecessary noise—a dream, not a child.
Scorpio The movie “Braveheart” comes to mind. Its plot revolves around Scottish resistance. In reality, the film is about a little Scorpio. From his swaddling clothes, he enters into battle with the system. His daily routine (sleep, eat) is established by his decision, as is who among the grandmothers gets to see him today. Parental protests and attempts to bend the child to their demands and needs crash against a wall in the form of a metaphorical two-handed sword and a very literal scream: “Free-doooom!” The stars of Scorpio traditionally bestow the maximum number of sweet treats while completely ignoring parental opinion. So the parents’ fate is submission and assistance. And of course, they should be proud of their little Scorpio. By the way, this is excellent for those who have grasped Zen (for parents of Scorpios, there’s no other way—embrace Zen).
Sagittarius Good thing you’re not allergic. Because you might already be thinking about where to house stray kittens from the entire neighborhood. The little Sagittarius has a big heart that demands compassion and tenderness toward everyone. And not just a polite sniffle, but large-scale pity—the rescue mission is underway. So while he hasn’t yet started bringing all the unfortunate home, rocking in his cradle, stock up on pet food. Soon he’ll start walking, and then… It doesn’t get easier. Little Sagittarians have prepared another surprise for you—lethal honesty. He blunts the truth first, then thinks about the consequences of such bluntness. So his circle of friends might be very narrow. But that’s trivial. The scariest part is that he demands this lethal honesty from himself too. So don’t even think about promising amusement park rides and then taking him to the dentist’s chair. In this case, your home zoo will gain a swift with a broken wing—“and he understands me better than you, Mom.”
Capricorn A sly little troll. He can easily tear through the night mist with a furious roar, and when the sleepy mother, hastily grabbing rattles and pacifiers, rushes to him, he’ll blind her with an innocent smile. “Hi, Mom! You’re gorgeous! No, I don’t want to eat, and the diaper doesn’t need changing—I just wanted to see you.” At this moment, the gaze of a two-week-old infant clearly reveals ancient wisdom and the experience of past lives. Probably, he was once an inquisitor who raised heretics in the middle of the night with a terrifying cry: “Repent!” Peers bore him, because with a little Capricorn, it’s always the wisdom of the ages. In fact, anyone is boring to him if they address him as a little child. A cooing adult will meet his slightly weary, condescending look asking: “Good Lord, do you even have any idea how you look from the side?”
Aquarius The thirst for knowledge (necessarily at the “God” level) is born before Aquarius himself. And for the little Aquarius, knowledge gained exclusively through experience is crucial. So when you say, “Sweetheart, it’s not a good idea to use my tablet to hammer in a nail—you won’t drive it in, but you’ll break the tablet,” the child assumes this scenario is entirely possible. However, it needs to be tested. And you won’t be able to figure out what practical experiment the little Aquarius is currently conducting, because it’s driven by the Cosmos, which defies prior calculation. So if an eerie silence falls in a room with even one little Aquarius, that’s exactly when you should start worrying. He might well be busy splitting uranium in the bathroom.
Pisces Pisces spend almost their entire lives living in a fairy tale. And everyone around the child must exist within the magical reality created by this tiny Creator. Seems wonderful, but only from one side—because from another, it’s dangerous. An exhausted mother who can no longer muster the strength to play the fairy’s role might be turned into a frog. So for your own safety, stock up on markers, colored chalk, pencils, and paper supplies—this stationery has miraculous power: it can restrain the child’s fantasies and direct them onto a path, say, leading to the Nobel Prize in Literature. Despite this impression, little Pisces are not lazy. So if you catch your child sitting thoughtfully in the middle of a room piled high with toys, don’t assume he’s just too lazy to clean up—he’s simply busy summoning the Demon Magic Bag, capable of independently collecting all the toys.
