As the child grows, he absorbs the behavioral tactics observed in his parental home like a sponge. Eventually, he will put into practice the well-known wisdom about the apple not falling far from the tree. That will come later, but for now he fits across the crib, and the stars guide him. If you cherish your belongings, lock them up securely. Your child has an insatiable need for control, feeling uneasy with a needle in one place. He requires exhaustive information about where and why each item lies and what will happen if its location is changed. By the way, don’t expect the joyful squeal of a little Aries upon seeing toys—these items carry a different meaning for him, and he alone decides what is a toy and what is nonsense. So don’t be surprised if expensive dolls and construction sets gather dust while a blender becomes his favorite plaything. Incidentally, it’s not advisable to take it away—you won’t succeed anyway; wait until he grows tired of it. What tantrums? His logic is ironclad: a blender is cooler than cheap Chinese children’s junk.
Taurus In adulthood, Taurus’s ability to smash through walls to reach a goal will come in handy, but this quality will become more terrifying than nuclear war for the parents of this child. For example, he might decide he no longer wants to go to kindergarten. Period. This is where parents will see where crayfish hibernate, where Kuzma’s mother lives, and that they’ve been banished from paradise. Moreover, this time the unbreakable wall will take the form of his “I won’t go,” against which all your flattery, cajoling, bribes, carrots, and even sticks will shatter. Little Taurus also has another skill that will serve him well later, but for now drives parents to the brink of madness—he does everything thoroughly. And it’s futile to throw a tantrum in the hallway, straining your vocal cords: “We’re late, tie those damn shoelaces!” Take a deep breath—Taurus will grow up, earn a lot of money, and parents will have a wonderful opportunity to restore their exhausted nervous system at the expense of their grown child.
Gemini You might as well order a shipping container to supply your child with encyclopedias. As soon as he masters the alphabet, he’ll dive headfirst into studying encyclopedias, not at all embarrassed that most of them are written in Latin. The secret is simple: he doesn’t read; he studies. And prepare to hear several hundred “whys” per minute. The only consolation is that the little Gemini gets a kick out of the process of asking questions and receives answers instantly. But you won’t get away with silence—you’ll have to try answering at least some of them. Horror stories are also among his “favorites,” yet he trembles with fear from the nightmares inspired by these tales. So here’s the scenario: first, he’ll demand a detailed retelling of how the fox ate the bun or how the wolf devoured Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother, and then he’ll crawl into your bed, demanding protection from greedy predators until morning.
Cancer If you’re not prepared to selflessly fulfill parental duties, don’t have a Cancer. This is a natural video recorder who remembers everything—literally everything. Such attentiveness to reality doesn’t come cheap for him; he creates an alternate reality in his imagination that satisfies his needs and settles down to live in it. In his imaginary world, friends are more reliable than silly earthly counterparts (yard kids, etc.), and there’s also the possibility of flying, since the laws of physics allow it in his fantasy realm. Attentive parents, noticing this, will immediately sound the alarm, studying information provided by child psychologists. Inattentive parents, however, will miss this fact. Yes, you’ve given birth to a chameleon. He knows exactly what adults want to hear from him and will only say that. While you’re melting over your “angel in the flesh,” he’ll be quietly bombing the planet Tatooine.
Leo He may not know the concept of Feng Shui, but he’s definitely aware of the arrangement of objects in the universe—the center is HIM, and the rest, spinning in a small radius, fulfills his every whim. The bad news is that as he grows, his behavior doesn’t change, so parents shouldn’t count on relaxation. But Leo is a pack animal by nature, and he’ll do everything to surround his pack with care. So you might find melted candies, dusted with sandbox sand, in his pockets. What a caring child—he was given treats and remembers his mother, bringing her a treat. There’s no other way; the touching gaze of the heir is directed at you—eat the offering.
Virgo A complicated case. No conflicts for you. Always obedient. Is he genuine? His ability to always be right at the right time leaves adults stunned. How is that possible? He’s just a baby! It’s not fair! You can’t blame parents who think this way. A small fly in the ointment is his penchant for drawing on wallpaper. Active games aren’t his thing; he’s drawn to chess and soon starts beating his mother and grandfather at it—by the way, his grandfather holds a first-class title. It’s not fair! We understand and don’t blame the grandfather. Virgo is a trusting person who doesn’t recognize flattery well. So not every parent gets the chance to praise the child nonstop for days without risking damage to his self-esteem through mistakes.
Libra Educational practice offers a decent technique involving letting the child make decisions for himself. For example: “You can eat another portion of ice cream, which might lead to a sore throat and, in that case, our trip to the zoo tomorrow will be canceled. Or you can avoid the risk and go to the zoo tomorrow for sure. Choose for yourself.” But! This doesn’t apply to little Libras! He’s incapable of making a choice and doesn’t like doing it. After all, it’s so appealing! You’ll be the last sadists if you lead him to a shelf of toys and suggest he pick something out. At that moment, his brain will explode because he’ll apply thousands of criteria to each toy, evaluating how good it is and how poorly it suits him. Don’t torment the child—just buy him something without putting him through the choice. Otherwise, he’s a wonderful, inquisitive child who doesn’t make unnecessary noise—a dream, not a child.
Scorpio The movie *Braveheart* comes to mind. Its plot concerns Scottish resistance. In reality, the film is about a little Scorpio. From infancy, he wages war against the system. The daily routine (sleep, meals) is set according to his decisions, as is which grandmother he’ll see today. Parental protests and attempts to bend the child to their needs and demands hit a wall in the form of a metaphorical two-handed sword and a very real scream: “Fre-ed-dom!” Scorpio’s stars traditionally reward him with the maximum number of delicious treats for completely ignoring his parents’ opinions. So the parents’ fate is to be humble and provide assistance. And, of course, they should be proud of their little Scorpio. Incidentally, this is great for those who have grasped Zen (those who give birth to a Scorpio have no other path—embrace the Zen).
Sagittarius It’s good if you’re not allergic. You might as well start planning where you’ll house all the stray cats from the neighborhood. Little Sagittarius has a big heart that demands compassion and tenderness toward everyone. And it’s not just a show of emotion—he genuinely wants to save the world on a grand scale. So while he’s still rocking in his crib and hasn’t started bringing home all the strays, stock up on pet food. Soon he’ll be off and running…
Next up, little Archers have prepared another surprise for you — a lethal honesty. First, they cut to the truth, then ponder the consequences of such a cut. So, the circle of friends of a little Archer can be very narrow. But that’s just a minor detail. The worst part is that he demands this lethal honesty from himself as well. So, don’t even think about promising a trip to the amusement park, only to seat him in the dentist’s chair. In that case, your home zoo will be joined by a swift chick with a broken wing — “he understands better than you, Mom, what’s good for him.”
Sly little troll. He can easily slash through the night’s darkness with a fierce roar, and when the sleepy mom, tossing rattles and pacifiers on the go, finally reaches him, he greets her with an innocent smile. “Hi, Mom! You’re adorable! No, I don’t want to eat, and no, the diaper doesn’t need changing — I just wanted to see you.” At that moment, the gaze of a two-week-old tot definitely reveals millennia of wisdom and experience from past lives. Most likely, he was an inquisitor who roused heretics in the dead of night with a terrifying cry: “Repent!”
Peers bore him, as a little Capricorn always carries the wisdom of ages. In fact, anything boring that treats him like a child will annoy him. A cooing person will meet his slightly weary, indulgent gaze that silently asks: “Good heavens, do you even realize how you look from the side?”
The thirst for knowledge (specifically, to the level of “God”) appears even before the little Aquarius himself. Moreover, for a little Aquarius, what matters are the insights gained exclusively through personal experience. So, when you say, “Sweetie, don’t use my tablet to hammer a nail — you won’t drive the nail in, but you’ll break the tablet,” the child will consider this scenario quite plausible. However, it must be tested. And you won’t be able to figure out what practical experiment the little Aquarius is conducting right now, because the Cosmos is pushing him to do it, and he doesn’t answer to prior calculations. Therefore, if a suspicious silence settles in a room where there’s at least one little Aquarius, it’s time to start worrying. He might very well be splitting uranium in the bathroom.
Little Pisces live almost their entire lives in a fairy tale. And everything around the child must exist in the magical reality created by the tiny Creator. On one hand, it’s wonderful, but on the other, it’s dangerous. A tired mom, who can’t bring herself to keep playing the role of a fairy, might be transformed into a frog. So, for your own safety, stock up on markers, colored chalk, pencils, and paper — this stationery works wonders. It can curb the child’s imagination and guide it toward, say, a Nobel Prize in “literature.” Despite appearances, little Pisces are not lazy. So, if you catch your child thoughtfully sitting in the middle of a room buried under toys, don’t assume he’s too lazy to clean up — he’s busy summoning the Demon of the Magic Bag, which can magically gather toys on its own.
