To office romance – yes or no? Can anything worthwhile come out of such relationships? Researchers in the United States were also intrigued by this topic, and in the course of their study, they discovered that a married woman who falls in love with a colleague might actually gain something—specifically, an improvement in her relationship with her “at-home” husband.
Who’s the new guy?
It turned out that most of the married women surveyed who felt clear attraction toward another man typically found that this person was a coworker. And again, most of the women who “strayed” admitted that their wandering eye did not harm their marriage; on the contrary, they grew closer to their legal partner.
Why? Perhaps, against the backdrop of another person, they realized how lucky they were with their husband and that he had no worthy replacement? According to psychologists, they redirected their attraction toward the colleague onto their actual husband.
Another possibility is that guilt over their feelings for someone else gnawed at them, so they compensated by showing more affection and care toward their husband—the proverbial “cuckold” in a platonic sense.
Besides the scenario where a married woman is romantically drawn to a male coworker, there are other common types of office romances, which we will now examine.
Married woman + unmarried male coworker
The most likely outcome of such a relationship is divorce from her husband rather than marriage to the coworker. Unmarried men typically seek a female coworker for light, pleasant companionship, not for building a family. For marriage, he will find a candidate without a marital stamp in her passport. Meanwhile, her husband is unlikely to forgive her infidelity.
Unmarried woman + unmarried male coworker
Equal chances of relationship success or breakup. If both are thinking about building a family, they may indeed do so. But if both or one of them is merely seeking adventure, the relationship will likely end sooner or later.
Married man + single female coworker
This scenario can end equally likely in marriage or breakup. It is believed that the outcome depends on the woman’s behavior. If she sets her goal on making the coworker her husband, she may succeed—he might break off his current legal relationship for her sake. If she’s merely having fun, the relationship will probably fade away over time.
Married man + married female coworker
In such an office pairing, divorces and the creation of a shared family are usually unlikely. These individuals are taking a break from family life and therefore don’t aim to turn their colleague into their official life partner.
Boss + secretary
A classic. Many people automatically assume that every boss’s secretary is his mistress. This assumption persists regardless of whether one or both individuals are legally married or have other ongoing relationships.
It’s unfair to generalize all bosses and secretaries, but intimate relationships in such pairings are not rare. The girl’s prospects are very uncertain. Yes, she might expect a good bonus, a summer vacation, and extra days off. But she pays for this with sideways glances from other colleagues, gossip behind her back, and coworkers’ fear that she might “snitch” on them to her bed partner. Worst of all, the boss might crave new sensations and assign the secretary position to another beautiful and bold woman, forcing the former assistant and lover to seek a new job—possibly outside the company.
Occasionally, such office romances do end with the sound of a wedding march, transitioning into legal relationships. But for most, the secretary remains merely a mistress. Don’t expect a special career boost—she’s needed in his office and in his bed, and nowhere beyond. The size of her bonuses remains uncertain, but her reputation will undoubtedly suffer. The world is small; you might later meet someone who’s heard the rumors and won’t want to marry a woman with such a past.
