Relations between a young wife and her mother-in-law are a serious matter: after all, the mother-in-law is the key figure among new relatives. These tips will help you build a bridge to her heart, and thus to family peace. So, what if your mother-in-law…
If your mother-in-law is Aries, she is a true commander. Prepare for the first meetings with your “second mother” to resemble an instruction session on how to care for her charming son, and all good wishes will be framed as orders: “Under no circumstances should you starch shirts! No vacuum cleaners—dusting must be done only with a damp cloth!” The best strategy here is humility. Agree with the “general in a skirt,” even if the tone of the conversation irritates you and the orders seem impossible. And never openly contradict or speak sharply. You will win her favor when, during one of your visits, you show how strictly you follow her instructions or constantly bustle around the house to help her—Aries adore hard workers, just like themselves. If you demonstrate the right level of tirelessness, she will soon lay down her arms.
Taurus. Basic life values are paramount to her, so be sure to show how nutritious you feed her child and how eager you are to give her strong grandchildren. Do not dismiss her care for you (Taurus mothers-in-law do not forgive this)—at meetings, eat everything placed in front of you, drink everything poured into your cup, take the 1973 dress she offers (even if you have no intention of wearing it, even under threat of execution). When your mother-in-law has another idea (for example, to renovate the apartment), she will pursue it slowly and methodically, ignoring obstacles. Arguing is futile—it’s better to step aside, as you are essentially lucky: “no matter the circumstances,” she will advise her son to preserve the family.
Gemini. At first glance, she will seem like “one of the girls,” and initially, communication with her will not cause much trouble. She may even suggest calling her by her first name (“Olha,” “Maria”), but don’t rush to agree—this is just a test. Also, do not lie to her or try to deceive her—“Gemini” knows the true worth of people. Listen to everything she tells you and don’t forget to interject your own stories—reserve and closed-off behavior are her worst flaws. However, don’t rush to reveal all your secrets—she will quickly make them public property. Stick to neutral topics like nature, books, or films. Another note: your “new mother” may rival Elizabeth Taylor in the number of marriages or admirers and is not particularly trusting of the institution of marriage. To prevent her from advising her son to flee from his wife at the first family quarrel, it’s worth securing her friendship. Call her often, for any reason or no reason, especially to share the latest gossip.
If your mother-in-law is Cancer, you are in luck. Even if the person her son chose does not inspire admiration, she cannot oppose his decision—“the child wants to get married.” To her, he will forever remain her little boy, so there’s no need to complain about his lack of independence or low earnings. A Cancer mother-in-law may initially seem reserved and distant, but she is ready to extend her love for her child to you—if you are kind to her and ask permission to call her “Mom” (she will happily agree). Learn the family traditions and her personal preferences (which rarely change over the years) and occasionally show small, heartfelt gestures. Even if you are stingy with them, rest assured—she will treat your children as her own.
Leo. She will immediately make it clear that you are unworthy of her son by birth and that your bloodline does not meet the required standards (unless you are of royal descent). Be prepared for questions about whether you know famous people A. and B. Neutralizing snobbish remarks is simple—ask in return if she knows C. and D. (choose any names, even your neighbors on the landing—don’t be shy, she likely won’t know them anyway). However, from then on, treat a Leo mother-in-law with unfeigned respect, even reverence. “Mom” and “you” are grave mistakes; address her as “Olha Pavlivna” and use the formal “you.” The best relationship tactic is not to interrupt or argue; the ideal conversation topic is solely about her (for example, how wonderfully she raised her son or how excellently she cooks dumplings). If you provide her with enough compliments, she will focus on herself and stop interfering in the young family’s life.
Virgo. When you marry, you gain not one but two mother-in-laws—or rather, one in two incarnations. The “first” will tirelessly help with household chores, teach you to knit (if you wish), walk with the children, and so on. Meanwhile, the “second” will not stay idle, interrupting these good deeds with critical remarks, lectures, and unsolicited advice. She will save you in any difficult situation but will then likely “nag you to death” or spend a lifetime giving unwanted advice. Still, don’t take it to heart—it all comes from good intentions. The only thing she will not forgive is an untidy appearance or financial carelessness.
If your mother-in-law is Libra, she is in a constant search for love, and you are lucky if she currently has a partner. Otherwise, a Libra mother-in-law will inevitably redirect her vast reserves of unspent affection toward her son and openly compete for his attention—expecting compliments, gifts, and other displays of filial duty while occasionally undermining your image (i.e., hers). Her remarks (seemingly well-intentioned) can infuriate anyone: “You have such a lovely hairstyle, but even it doesn’t spoil you,” “Masha looks wonderful today—no dark circles under her eyes…”—real-life examples. The only way to neutralize such barbs is to help her find her own happiness. For example, introduce her not to your girlfriends but to their unmarried fathers or uncles.
Scorpio. It will be very difficult to justify the “high trust” she places in you… She can hold a grudge against her daughter-in-law for ages over something as trivial as not knowing how to apply lipstick or constantly test her nerves by recounting stories about her son’s previous girlfriends—listing their virtues while “failing to notice” the listener. Such behavior is not mere tactlessness: an anxious, “wound-up” person is easier to control. With the same “kind” goal, a Scorpio mother-in-law always tries to pry into your soul, extracting your secrets. In this case, you must use deceptive tactics. For example, play along by sharing dramatic emotions about some trivial incident—like meeting an old friend. Even if these emotions are nonexistent, create the impression of being a complex, deep, and contradictory person (i.e., similar to the “Scorpio woman”). A little theatrics, and she will include you among “her own,” and the matter is settled—for a while. But not for long, so try to keep your distance.
Sagittarius. She is intelligent, optimistic, and at the same time overly active and restless. The “Sagittarius woman” dreamed all her life that her “boy” would get an intellectual wife with a good education and healthy career ambitions. So if you don’t have a university degree, a doctorate, or at least fluent English, try to create an image of a businesswoman in her eyes (but always show the process of self-education and professional development). She doesn’t need external brightness from you—such a mother-in-law will prefer someone brighter than her daughter-in-law. Moreover, she will immediately organize a silent competition with you in everything—from a new dress to kitchen repairs. Don’t try to “outdo” her—instead, admit, “Your pies are much tastier than mine.” The fortress will surrender without a fight. And finally, remember that with a mother-in-law-“Sagittarius,” you should avoid conversations about religion, sex, and ideology. If you can’t avoid the topic, may God help you not to express yourself sharply and unambiguously on these matters.
If your mother-in-law is Capricorn. She is unlikely to throw her arms around you at meetings, but neither will there ever be family scandals with mutual accusations. “Capricorn women” value external decency and traditions, so all you need in her presence is not to smoke, not to overdo it with champagne, and not to style your hair in extreme ways. It’s better to arrive for lunch at her place on time, and it’s equally important to remember all family dates and congratulate her on them. If you meet the formal requirements of decency and prove that you want to preserve the union with her son for a long time, you are guaranteed her favor (along with a nice dacha and connections to help you get a job with her acquaintances).
Aquarius. She is democratic and is unlikely to give her son valuable instructions without comment, having accepted his choice—that is, you. Agree, this is wonderful, but her democracy will quickly start to feel cold. A mother-in-law-“Aquarius” is unlikely to help the young couple with sauerkraut, lend money, or want to dedicate herself entirely to her grandchildren. Much more important to her are work, spiritual self-improvement, and get-togethers with old friends. The only way to win her heart is to “fit in” with her interests, but even that is no guarantee.
Pisces. She genuinely believes that if she gives away her son, she gains in you a sister of psychological mercy. To a polite phrase like “How are you?” the mother-in-law-“Pisces” will inevitably launch into details of a scandal involving an unknown to you Kaleria Pavlovna or embark on a long monologue about all her ailments. Before asking about her health, stock up on time and patience. Some ethical aspects of her behavior may be surprisingly unpleasant—for example, while offering to help around the house, she (without batting an eye) will conduct an inventory of your closets or boldly use your cosmetics. At the same time, the “watery” mother-in-law may today sincerely and passionately love you, and tomorrow quietly dislike you—her feelings literally depend on the weather outside the window. If for some reason her beloved son hasn’t called her in two days, call her immediately, or you’ll face the “deadly” verdict: “He only cares about you; you don’t let him talk to me.” After the Pisces mother-in-law has convinced herself of this, periods of adoration for her daughter-in-law will disappear. Don’t let this happen—pay her more attention, even if listening to her complaints becomes boring.
