Since ancient astrologers, magicians, sorcerers, and other esteemed individuals had no idea that in the 21st century people would spend hours endlessly staring at monitors, modern masters of the Stars had to deduce the behavioral reactions of the Zodiac signs in relation to social networks.
Aries
A social media page is one of the components of an Aries’ image. Therefore, you won’t catch an Aries whining about everyday troubles—no, they’ll post about something grand. It’s precisely about Aries: for them, thirst for glory is everything, and image is paramount. Given this, it’s not serious to simply post a selfie in an elevator—it will be posted after an audience with the Pope. The height of chic is if the Pope himself appears in the selfie. Aries also enjoys posting controversial statements and delightedly watching the ensuing battle of comments.
Taurus
Taurus likely has enough emotional expression in real life, so they show such indifference in the virtual world. A Taurus rarely ventures beyond their own page. So, if they leave a comment or “like” on your page, raise a glass—you’ve truly posted or written something impressive. Their own page serves Taurus as a place to vent negativity or for work purposes. They won’t check the network a hundred times a day to tally likes.
Gemini
You won’t find a more active social media user. They enjoy writing lengthy texts and disappearing into strangers’ pages, reading every post, even diving years into the past. Social networks give Geminis the chance to reveal their innate writing talent. However, once they’ve amassed hundreds of subscribers, Geminis may quietly vanish from their page, diving headfirst into another endeavor. Then, after a couple of years, they might return, raising an eyebrow in surprise, not understanding why they were forgotten by these ungrateful creatures.
Cancer
In social networks, you can observe a more or less active presence of Cancer, though they never forget they’re on a public platform. Their posts contain little personal information—after all, it’s Cancer! You’re unlikely to get revelations about their evening activities, let alone virtual ones. They lurk there, remain silent, like posts, avoid battles, post a photo of a bush—Cancer in all their glory!
The author of the first social network is not reliably known. However, it’s not unreasonable to assume that it was Leo. Of course! A poet’s dream is to have a new platform that dutifully serves as a podium, allowing them to climb onto it without leaving the comfort of home. Since Leo has an opinion on every question and excels in phrasing, the growth of subscribers to their page clearly follows the principle of geometric progression. Those who leave enthusiastic comments receive a benevolent response from Leo, while the dissenters get banned.
Virgo
Virgo openly clams up about personal information. Why not? In this world, you have to keep your ears sharp. If Virgo needs to share their weighty opinion, they won’t waste time alphabetizing—no, they’ll find the right thesis (for example, from Gemini or Leo) and repost it, adding their own “+1000.” Lacking writing talent doesn’t stop Virgo from being an attentive reader and editor. So, watch out for the number of “н” in words and other grammar mistakes—otherwise, prepare for a scathing comment from Virgo aimed at you.
Libra
A balm for the soul for social media enthusiasts. Libra doesn’t mind liking, responding to friends’ requests, or embracing the entire virtual world. That’s why Libra’s virtual friends include many people they’ve never met in real life. However, these virtual companions are loyal. If you had to describe a Libra’s personal page in one word, it would be “positivity,” consisting of others’ and their own musings and a pile of photos.
Scorpio
Scorpio is still Scorpio in the virtual world, residing there alongside their venom. If a post doesn’t suit them, they’ll mercilessly skewer the author with a sharp word. And Scorpio won’t hide the pleasure they feel while delivering this “killing blow.” Afterward, they couldn’t care less about the dislike of some unknown uncle or auntie on the internet. “Hold me back, someone out there doesn’t like me!” Allow me to introduce the classic troll with a perfectly honed arsenal—Scorpio. Steer clear of them by a mile.
Sagittarius
It doesn’t matter where—virtual or real world—he is a peacemaker everywhere. If Sagittarius finds themselves near a terrible argument filled with insults, they’ll do everything possible to resolve the situation, convincing the warring sides to make peace. The virtual world largely mirrors the real one, so as a peacemaker, Sagittarius has plenty of work on both sides of the screen. No matter! They hold on and are ready to fulfill their peacemaking duty daily. After all, people are meant for love, not for relationships like “python and rabbit.”
Capricorn
Hear that? Squeak! That’s Capricorn entering the social network. They genuinely don’t grasp the point of people posting photos of burnt cutlets or their offspring for the entire world to gawk at—a collective madness that has infected the virtual world to torment all of humanity and infect photographed pickles with botulism. Therefore, Capricorn posts and comments sparingly and rigorously filters “friends,” especially strangers. Their avatar features a funny picture—only a fool would post their own photo.
Aquarius
A typical Aquarius page: a pile of photos like “me by the sea,” “husband by the sea,” “my cat by the sea,” “just the sea.” This natural photoshoot isn’t about boasting. It’s a cry: “People, people! Look around! What a beautiful world! What are we doing? Wake up!” Besides the sea, Aquarius’s blog always has a place for “sunset,” “sunrise,” “autumn leaf,” and so on. However, handwritten posts on social media are hard to come by from Aquarius. After all, before the rooster pecks in one place, kung fu masters won’t display their skills.
Pisces
In the virtual world, Pisces lives as openly as in real life. Even a friend from Mars knows that if Pisces stamps a passport, they stamp it again, Pisces feels melancholy, Pisces meets someone new, Pisces thinks it’s cool. Since both types of communication are one whole for them (after all, there are people there too), they can dive so deep into social networks that they’ll resurface only after a dynamite explosion. This is Pisces for you: “Dear, it’s time to sleep, it’s four in the morning!” — “I can’t, sweetheart! Someone on the forum is wrong again.”
