Fortunately, perhaps, all the zodiac signs are similar, but they definitely suffer in different ways.
Aries
The proud Aries suffers in silence. It’s not about being reserved or fearing public judgment. These guys don’t know fear at all. They simply know for certain that a) you can’t help anyone anyway, so why strain your vocal cords? b) You won’t understand what’s going on in an Aries’ soul—you’re not an Aries. And if you don’t, then your personal experience (don’t get upset, just accept it as it is) is, by default, garbage. So Aries will figure it out on their own, endure it, and have survived worse.
Taurus
This is a destructive martyr. Shaking shoulders in despair and crying into a pillow, quietly groaning into a wall—it’s all unsportsmanlike and therefore pointless. What Taurus suffers, their surroundings won’t miss, even if they really wanted to. And the sign itself manifests as a characteristic nuclear mushroom growing simultaneously on all horizons. With the sad question, “What did I do to deserve this?”, Taurus sweeps away the debris of Torzhok (a suffering city) into a distant corner.
Gemini
Verbose martyrs. If you carelessly ask, “What happened?”, be prepared to hear about Gemini’s affairs a thousand times more than you planned. They’ll start with a distant year from the last century, when a warm evening still reigned outside, when the bushes outside the window were oblivious to the harsh winter with its icy scythe looming around the corner, mocking the carefree flora. And they’ll end with the fact that little naive Gemini laughed years ago over jokes from the greatest love of their life… Don’t ask, “What happened?” They’ll tell you everything anyway, but in this case, there’s a chance they’ll start their frantic story from the current millennium.
Cancer
Highly spiritual martyrs. Why jump straight to “drinking”? Not necessarily. No, they’ll dramatically roll their eyes, sigh, listen to good music, and study books on self-improvement. More advanced Cancers will start writing books on self-improvement. Young Cancers will take up a pen and scribble something like: “Blood, death, pain. Night, shadow, darkness. You left, but your heart is with me. Cry or quack, something like that.”
Leo
Sociable martyrs. Suffering alone, in Leo’s opinion, is a waste of time and emotional resources. Everyone should suffer. Therefore, their suffering will involve all the slow-moving vassals who didn’t flee to Kenya in time. Interestingly, the vassals, without realizing it and without joining in, will add their offenders to their personal enemy list and rush into battle. And Leo will advise them to spice things up and won’t forget to thank them for being there.
Virgo
A constructive sufferer. She suffers while wallpapering and defending her thesis. That’s why she’s the object of general envy. “So strong, holding up so well—no one else could manage it, overall, she’s amazing.” In fact, Virgo doesn’t even try to deny such an assessment, but deep down, she’s endlessly grateful to her suffering. She perceives it like a magical push that fell just in time—a real miracle.
Libra
Balanced sufferers who try to put something pleasant on the other side of the scale. What exactly serves as the counterbalance depends on Libra’s status, wallet thickness, and gender: some are inspired by a new mop for the floor, while others by a round-the-world yacht trip. From the outside, it seems like this is the most carefree zodiac sign. You just don’t see what it costs them to balance these weights of cruel betrayals and pleasant pleasures.
Scorpio
Not used to suffering, and doesn’t know how. They try their best, but it’s not given to them.
Sagittarius
A complex martyr. With a warm heart, a typical Sagittarius creates a collection of reasons to suffer and tries to arrange it so that they all explode at once. For example, after a spouse leaves, Sagittarius isn’t content to just drown their sorrows with glass after glass. They’ll time it so that after the second half departs, they (not the ex-spouse) get fired from work. It’s even better if they break a leg at the same time.
Capricorn
A martyr who bravely looks ahead. They’re ready for any blow of fate because they know that anything can happen in this life. And a hope flickers in them that it will all end soon—specifically, not just anyhow, but definitely well. Optimists… are rosy. Capricorn butts its horns against the fence, shouting, “The fence won’t last forever, no, no, fall, damn it! Capricorn is a strong bird.” If the fence can’t hold, it falls.
Aquarius
Arrogant sufferers. No insignificant humans are worthy of knowing about their pain. From the outside, the scene unfolds like this: concerned pitiful little people stand around, assuming it’s time to call an ambulance. But Aquarius doesn’t care; their gaze, full of centuries of suffering, is directed at the constellation named after themselves. “That’s right!” mumbles Aquarius. “The constellation is named after me—can you do that?” And a sense of relief washes over them.
Pisces
They suffer and enjoy it. Perhaps they think they don’t like to suffer. The purest form of self-deception. Give a typical Pisces even the slightest pretext—say, a call in the evening from an unknown Semyon Ivanovich, who, of course, is a woman with a deep baritone voice. Oh! There’s a hook! They suffer… and how powerfully! It’s visible and audible from afar. They drown in tears and head straight to drown themselves. “Think Pisces don’t drown? Why nitpick? The main thing isn’t to drown—it’s to make a statement.”
